Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
Randomize
