I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
