i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
