We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
