Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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