How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
MIDGETS
????
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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