We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
