His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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