i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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