Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
Randomize
