Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
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