I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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