I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
