I want to walk on stilts...naked
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
