I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize
