One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
