what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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