it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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