Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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