does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
