Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
Quick, to the slutcave!
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
