am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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