It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
