we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
