therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize
