Little spoons don't ask big questions
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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