the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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