hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
