I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
