thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
