I skipped work to stalk him.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
