Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
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