oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
