We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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