she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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