Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Randomize
