Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
