brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
