If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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