Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
