Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
