just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
