why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
