Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
