I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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