we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Randomize
