Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
They should really pass out barf bags in church
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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