sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
