if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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