Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
